Are These the Hardest Goodbyes?

When we take an animal into our homes, we don’t think of the hard reality that their lifespans are much shorter than ours

There is the joy of a new companion whether a puppy or kitten or of an older rescued animal who needs a home. We grow together, learn their personalities, their food preferences and their interactions with other family members and animals.

kitten cat rush lucky cat
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We develop bonds of trust with them, we are their carers and protectors, the leaders of their pack. In simple terms, we grow to love them.

Although I used to have a dog, these days our animal companions are cats. Until last week I had three cats two girls and a boy. As previous cats have lived to a ripe old age of twenty-one I confidently expected many more happy years together.

Then, I noticed that Freya wasn’t eating, and this went on for a couple of days. Unlike the other two who we had, since they were kittens, we think that Freya had a tough early life.

 

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We called her Freya Aurora

When we first saw her, she was living in a neighbour’s shed and had just had kittens. He had no plans to feed her or offer her water. We asked for his permission to feed her and gradually earned her trust. Despite looking like a kitten, herself she’d had seven kittens. An animal rescue organisation took the kittens as we managed to catch them, one by one. We knew no one would want this skinny Mamma cat, so we kept her.

She was skittish and distrustful for a long while spitting and striking out at our other cats. At times I was sorry that we had kept her as it was so stressful. Gradually she mellowed, and we won her trust.

I worried about her as she grew inexplicably and enormously fat, the vet had no explanation for this. We cut her food down, but the weight remained. She looked like a fat wombat. Then as unexpectedly as it had started she lost the weight, returning to the petite size we remembered.

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The sudden weight gain.

She was still wary of men but grew to trust me and would curl up beside me in an armchair. Gradually trust was created and over time an armed neutrality was established between our male cat and her. She seemed to be a settled and contented cat.

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A content and secure Freya in the garden

It had all taken time and I realised that she had been with us for nearly eight years. When they had their check-ups in June the vet had mentioned she needed some dental work done and I was convinced that this was causing her problems now.

We went in at 9am on Wednesday morning and the vet examined her and said she needed hydrating and she would put her on a drip and conduct blood tests prior to doing surgery.

When the phone rang at eleven I knew it wasn’t going to be good news. I listened to words like fluid on the lungs, possible heart failure, cancer or other problems. The vet mentioned it might be kindest to let her go. I heard the words but could hardly comprehend them

We agreed to go back at I pm to say goodbye. We went in and. the vet explained more and assured us we were acting in her best interests Freya was brought in still with her drip attached and tried to get up. We stroked her and talked to her, and gently, gently the vet gave her the injection that would send her to sleep forever. I held her paw and talked to her, looking into her eyes and watched as her eyes slowly closed.

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Only then did my tears fall as we stayed with her for a while. I grieved for all the life she might have had, all the time we could have spent together. I hated myself for having to make the decision although I knew it was for the best and in my heart, I asked her to forgive me.

When we take on a pet we take it all on, the good and the bad, the happy days and the hard days. Allowing an animal to end its suffering after a long and happy life is hard but saying goodbye to one who should have had so many more happy years ahead is heart-breaking.

 

 

 

What I Read in April 2018

The Great Alone By Kristen Hannah

After reading The Nightingale I was really looking forward to reading this book. Kristen Hannah’s love for and knowledge of Alaska shine through these pages.

The Great Alone

Personally, I found the book too long and too repetitive. The physical isolation of Alaska is described, as well as the kind of people who are drawn to it and able to survive there. Some can’t handle the feeling of being cut off and the mental Isolation. Ex -Vietnam vet Ernst, thinks Alaska is the place for him and his family. His experiences have led to his growing paranoia and to domestic violence.

Leni is a young teenager when they first arrive and for a while doesn’t sense anything is wrong with her parents. then she can not understand why her mother excuses and forgives her father and doesn’t want to leave

Inevitably, Leni falls in love with a boy from a family her father loathes, making her life far more complicated. An act of shocking violence changes all their lives and they return ‘civilisation’, but Leni still has Alaska and the boy she left behind in her heart.

Not for me at this time- perhaps my recent sadness at the death of my friend made it too bleak.

The Secret Vineyard By Loretta Hill.

Grace knows that her ex-husband Jake is ‘a lying, cheating, wife abandoning bastard’.What she didn’t know until his death was that he was the owner of a vineyard in Margaret  River, Western Australia. As Grace is scraping together a living and looking after their three boys it seems like a chance for a fresh start or at least a lucky break.

The Secret VIneyard

His current wife and Grace’s ex-best friend tries unsuccessfully to challenge the will, which has left the vineyard to Grace’s three boys. Grace packs up herself and the boys for a trip down South to see the vineyard and decide if it is saleable. It’s a ramshackle place, in need of some TLC, but it has a certain charm. And events conspire so she has to stay longer than she first planned.

Scott, the charming real estate agent, is always around and there is a mystery about the house and its resident ghost. Then there is the handyman, who is happy to work for just his board. Grace’s life is far more interesting than it ever was in the city.  I enjoyed this book, but I did find the blurb on the back of the book confusing. In the book Grace’s husband is Jake, the blurb refers to him as Derek.  It must have been too expensive a mistake to correct!

 

          The Cat of The Baskerville’s by Vicki Delaney

The third book in the popular Sherlock Holmes Bookshop Mystery Series by Vicki Delaneyhe Cat of the BaskerveillesWhen Sir Nigel Bellingham, star of screen and the theatre accepts an invitation to star in the classic play for the West London Theatre’s Festival, the Cape Cod locals are both thrilled and amazed. Unfortunately, in person, he is not as impressive as his reputation, and it soon becomes apparent that he has a drinking problem. QuIte a few people benefit in various ways because of his death. Even Gemma herself as it increases  book sales and memorabilia.

Gemma Doyle proprietor of the Sherlock Holmes bookshop is both observant and clever. This time she faces a conflict of loyalties and worries that what she has observed will implicate someone close to her.

 

       Choosing Happiness: Life and Soul Essentials by Stephanie Dowrick

I wouldn’t suggest that you read this book in one sitting. It lends itself more to be a potpourri of a book, one to dip in and out of as need arises. It’s a mental and spiritual health check to be used as required.

Choosing Happiness.

The chapter heading broadly define the scope of the book.

Trust Who You Are.

Let Your Values and Goals Work for You

Build Self Respect

Consider Others.

Honour the People You Live With.

Think & Act Positively.

The book is like having a wise and sympathetic friend to talk with. The kind of friend who makes you think a little more deeply about yourself and your behaviour.

 

Maggie’s Kitchen by Caroline Beecham.

I spotted a review of this and the concept appealed to me, women’s work in wartime

Maggies KitchenMaggie has opened a wartime restaurant-  which is a long-held dream of hers. She is facing problems with supplies as her restaurant as ironically becomes ‘too popular. ‘Dealing with red tape and Ministry of Food types is exhausting enough, but then there is twelve-year-old Robbie to worry about too. Where are his parents? Janek the helpful and mysterious Pole reminded me of the Czech officer Marek in the sadly missed and inexplicably cancelled ITV series Home Fires.

Maggie didn’t really ‘come alive’ for me and it felt like the story ended very abruptly. The book also contains a few wartime recipes, showing the ingenuity of the cooks of that time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Magic of Pets

A post which touched me deeply and reminded me of my much-loved cat Midnight- see my post in June 2017 A Fool for Love. Reposted with permission.

The Cat's Write

When my cat died on March 20th, I stopped blogging entirely. The only reason you’ll see I posted blogs on that particular date (and after) is because I always schedule my blogs about 1-2 weeks ahead.

I would like to let you all know that I have been reading every single comment left on this blog – even if I never replied. Your comments have been little sparks of light in the darkness. Thank you too, for all the lovely, heartfelt emails and for being so understanding and sharing in my grief when I posted about losing Sven last month.

I’m not embarrassed to admit, that I, the ever optimistic happy go-lucky crazy cat lady, finally reached the end of her tether after my pet died. And we should not be ashamed of feeling sad. If we do, we help perpetuate the stigma of depression that stops people reaching…

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