You Better Be Willing to Fail

Do you seek perfection? Did you realize the steps along the way include failing? Only through failure can we appreciate success.I’d even dare to say that failing makes success all the sweeter and more prized. Do you Agree?

Mary E. Nolte

A few years ago, I decided that I wanted to take up book binding. I bought this planner as a PDF and I decided that I was going to print it out and learn how to bind a book. And then I’d carry that book around all year, to be reminded of how important creativity is for me.

So I watched a bunch of Youtube videos, I bought some carefully selected paper, and I got to work. It took me a long time and a free trial of a certain program to figure out how to print out the PDF so that it would fold into a booklet. I folded the pages carefully. I followed the video’s instructions and I sewed them together with perfectly even stitches.

So far, so good. The next step was to cut off the edges of the book so that everything was uniform.

This is…

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Trying to Ignore Mothers ‘Day

Here in Australia, it is coming up to Mothers ‘Day which is on May 13th although of course in the Northern Hemisphere it is celebrated in March. It is a day that I find quite painful as so many people thank their mothers and express love and admiration for their mum. Say how close they are to their mothers and how much they are like their mothers.

Not all mothers are like that though, mine wasn’t. So, I guess that I am slightly envious and feel that my experience is not recognised. To be told that I must be mistaken by those whose mothers loved them is hurtful. And it denies my experience. To clarify, my mother was distant and disinterested, but not neglectful or intentionally cruel.

I look at the photograph of the clear-eyed girl that she was and wonder what became of her?

 

Phoebe Leather
My mother as a young girl

How did she become the woman that I remember? The one with the distant look in her eye, the one who read travel books voraciously and smoked endless cigarettes? The one who stayed in her room crying and depressed. The one who told me when I was about twelve ’I never wanted children’? The words haunt me still, they were never clarified with ‘of course now we’ve got you I’m glad’

I knew my dad loved me- by the way he’d let me stand on his feet to dance, the way he tucked me into bed at night and kiss my forehead ‘Night, night, pleasant dreams,’ and leave the door ajar so I could see the hall light.

With my parents

Children sense things, or at least I did. I used to buy her presents, bring her flowers, those wildflower posies that children pick. My drawings were for her. Once I spent my entire birthday money on a brass ornament for her.Then when I was about nine I stopped. I realised that you can’t buy love, it is, or it isn’t, you can’t make someone love you.

Not all women are cut out to be mothers, although of course, that was societies expectation. Mum was thirty-nine when I was born, their first and only child. I suspect she’d have been happier without me. Now I think that she saw me as a rival for my dad’s affections. An aunt came to stay for many months to look after me as mum took to her bed.

I envy those with a close bond with their mothers, those who say she is their best friend. My mum died when I was in my early twenties, and we had never grown close even after my father’s death. For me, Mothers’ Day is a time of sadness and regret, a time to think about what might have been and to finally to feel sorry for my mum that she was trapped in a situation that made her so unhappy.

The Writing Dog

The pain of losing a companion animal- we do share a special bond with those who share our homes, I had tears in my eyes reading this.

Arcanum

He is ever alert to the sounds of her. Footsteps upstairs might mean she is coming. She may yet share the couch with him. He may lay his nose on her leg and sigh, tail thumping the upholstery in a contented rhythm. On frost-laden mornings she greets him and lets him out. He hears the honey in her voice and knows he is loved. He lies at her feet as she stares at the metal thing, always absorbed. If he is very still and quiet she might just stroke his head. It is enough to be close, shoehorned between the chair and the ottoman, her legs a ceiling above.

He runs with her even though he is small and far from athletic. He keeps pace and smiles up at her, tries to avoid the call of the tree trunks and dash onwards.

One day he feels an unease. Something slow…

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Memories Of Midnight.

Midnight was a rescue cat, and we shared a deep bond.He would accompany me everywhere- even to visit our neighbours. People said’ he’s more like a dog than a cat.’ He was a tough veteran when we got him, but he displayed the sweetest nature. Sadly ,after only being together for three years and three months, he was killed in an accident. I felt as though my heart was broken, and that I’d never love another  animal in the same way.I had never shared such a deep connection with any animal.

Three years and three months later the black cat who I would call Mystic walked along our driveway and demanded to be let in. When I saw him in the garden under the tree that Midnight used to sit under I wrote this poem

Midnight in the garden
Midnight in the garden

 

 

 

Memories of Midnight.

I see you there, beneath the tree

Sharpening claws just like he

Used to in that very place.

It is an unexpected grace.

Seeming so familiar and dear

As if he could just appear.

A streak of blackness, passing through

Returned to me, somehow in you.

Oh, I know you are not the same!

Forget and call a well-loved name

Realise, I’ll not see him again

And welcome then the burst of pain.

Mostly though, you give me joy

Remembering my precious boy.

People say ‘it’s just a cat,

Oh you’ll soon get over that’

As if it were a lesser love

And you have no right to grieve.

In the places of my heart

You know there is a space apart.

Secure, enclosed and wholly yours,

Where sunshine and shadow still endures,

Blackness bounding lightly on long grass

The brightest eyes, warm as amber glass.

Oh the welcome in your meow

How I long to hear it now!

Loving you brings joy and pain

Yet, I have dared to love again

Another cat, with blackest fur

And a warm resounding purr.


 

Here is photo of Mystic and IMystic and me

The Magic of Pets

A post which touched me deeply and reminded me of my much-loved cat Midnight- see my post in June 2017 A Fool for Love. Reposted with permission.

The Cat's Write

When my cat died on March 20th, I stopped blogging entirely. The only reason you’ll see I posted blogs on that particular date (and after) is because I always schedule my blogs about 1-2 weeks ahead.

I would like to let you all know that I have been reading every single comment left on this blog – even if I never replied. Your comments have been little sparks of light in the darkness. Thank you too, for all the lovely, heartfelt emails and for being so understanding and sharing in my grief when I posted about losing Sven last month.

I’m not embarrassed to admit, that I, the ever optimistic happy go-lucky crazy cat lady, finally reached the end of her tether after my pet died. And we should not be ashamed of feeling sad. If we do, we help perpetuate the stigma of depression that stops people reaching…

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A quick survey- Which pages interest you the most?

Hi there,

I  could really use your help, please tell me which of the topics that I post about are of Interest to you.

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Practical articles about writing

Thoughts on writing

What I’ve been reading

My cats

Opinion pieces

Quotations

Running a writing group

How to book speakers for a writing group

What I learnt from running a book group for eleven years

Attending conferences and author talks

Other topics you’d like?

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Which Books Did I Read in March 2018?

March was a month of change for me, earlier in the month, my reading was for enjoyment. Mid-month I had sad news about the death of my oldest friend and I seemed to lose my concentration and focus. I think I deliberately chose escapist fiction to try to lighten my mood. Note the books are in the order that I read them.

 

pexels-photo-261889.jpegPromises, Promises by Erica James. 

3 stars from me.We’ve all done it, made promises to ourselves, vowing to change something in our lives. Erica James takes three people all at a point of wanting to change an aspect of their lives.

Promises, Promises by Erica James - image good reads

Maggie dreams of romance while stuck in a depressing marriage and working as a cleaner. Ella wasted seven years with a man who couldn’t challenge his spoilt teenage daughter while Ethan consoles himself for his loveless marriage by having one-night stands.

They all plan to change and make a different life for themselves this year, but promises are easily made and harder to keep.  While I did enjoy the story and was cheering them on from the sidelines at times I felt that it dragged slightly, which why I chose to give three stars.

The Sister’s Song by Louise Allan

5 stars. I am pleased that I read this earlier in the month – I did so I was about to attend a talk by Louise Allan at my local library. it may have been too sad for me to enjoy it later in the month.

Sister's Song.png

Beautifully written and desperately sad Louise Allan’s The Sisters Song touches on musicality and motherhood. As a non-musical person, I am sure many of the musical references were lost on me. Louise explores the times and manners of a bygone age with sensitivity and empathy. There is such a contrast between the sisters, one born for motherhood yet denied it, the other resenting it. The themes resonated with me and helped to explain my own conflicted relationship with my mother, who by her own admission ‘never wanted children’. Other themes such as sibling rivalry, the position of women in society and their inability to influence much in their lives, the shame of illegitimacy on both mother and child. The book veers more to the literary end of the spectrum rather than the strictly popular fiction. It is a book that will remain with you long after you have finished reading it,

I received a proof copy of the book through a Good reads giveaway, with no obligation to review it.

Feels Like Home by Lisa Ireland

4 stars/ A rural romance with enough zing to keep you guessing. Jo a bestselling novelist returns to her old hometown for her best friend’s wedding. What she didn’t bank on is heart-throb Ryan would be back in town, they have a history.

Feels Like Home Lisa Ireland

Fate throws them together, but each time it seems they are growing closer one or the other pulls back, neither wants to commit. He broke her heart and then married someone else. She vowed never to return but love and loyalty dragged her back. I found the characters engaging and relatable and there was enough tension to make me doubt if they would get a happy ever after.

How to be Everything by Emilie Wapnik.

 How to be Everything- from Book Depository3 stars I picked this book up because the title intrigued me. When I read the blurb, I found that it was based on her successful TED talk. The premise is that some of us don’t necessarily fit into the neat pigeon holes that society assigns us. So, if you are a lawyer you can’t possibly be a musician as well. Emilie argues that if you find several options appealing you can if you choose to, explore them all. She has called these people Multi-potentialities.

The chapters then go on to discuss how to apply the concepts to different kinds of career mixes. This section I found a bit repetitive, as the information was so similar. I suggest this book would be of most befitting for those at the beginning of their careers.

Cake at Midnight by Jessie L Star.

There is something so likeable about Giovanna, who is known as Gio to her friends Declan and Zoe. The trio has a strong friendship forged in childhood, and Gio thinks that her crush on Declan is a secret. When she does him a favour and he humiliated her, she knows she must move on. She wants a month with no contact from him

cake-at-midnight-9781925596083_lg

To ease her heartache during the sleepless nights she bakes delicious cakes and soon she is sharing them with her fellow insomniac and sexy neighbour, Theo.Can heartbreak heal that fast? But then Declan has a crisis and Gio knows she has to be there for him. Will Theo understand?  A nice escapist read.4 stars

The Cat Among Us by Louise Carson.

Although this is a murder mystery it is a lovely gentle book about community and cats The cats are very much individuals with their own personalities. When Gerry, an artist inherits her old house she begins to suspect that her aunt was murdered.

The Cat among us

One cat ‘First Cat’ seems intent on helping her solve the puzzle. I found that the book really drew me in and I enjoyed it immensely. Perhaps not for you if you are not a cat lover. I gave it 5 stars.

Ghouls Gone Wild by Victoria Laurie

A book that explores the ghost hunter’s world and their contacts with spirits. In this case with malevolent spirits in Scotland.

Ghouls gone wild

M.J. Holliday and Heath are battling an ancient curse cast by a powerful witch centuries ago.  A witch who seemingly has never died and has descendents bent on revenge Action packed and disturbing-As Victoria Laurie (herself a psychic) mentions in the forward this book is inspired by real events. I am glad I was not there to experience them! 4 stars

 

The Vineyard in the Hills by Lily Malone

I’ve just found a new favourite author, Lily Malone. The Vineyard in the Hills, set in beautiful Margaret River and South Australia has such engaging characters.

The vineyard in the hills

Remy is smart and sassy, but she’s had to give up her dreams and her viticulture degree to return home after the death of her gambler father. He’s left debts and Remy and her mum must pay them.She takes a job in a winery as a vintner’s assistant and begins to enjoy the work.

Then she meets Seth, one of the owner’s sons. He usually travels to promote the winery and is home on a rare visit.Their attraction is instant, could Remy be heading for a happily ever after.? A crisis causes Remy and her mother to leave the area. She is confident Seth will find her, but he doesn’t seek her out.

Five years later, Remy is running her own vineyard in South Australia when their paths cross again. The attraction is still there. but so is the hurt and mutual suspicion. Can Seth sort out the truth from all the lies he’s been told? Can Remy trust her heart and Seth, or is she heading for more heartbreak? 5 stars.

 

 

 

 

I’d Never Forget You

 

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‘Those were the days my friend we thought they’ d never end’

I am sharing this blog post with Frank Solanki’s permission. I recently lost my oldest, dearest and closest friend. This poem touched my heart, I read it with tears in my eyes, recalling the times both good and bad that we shared. Lynn had known me far longer than anyone else, even my husband. I find joy in remembering the good times

 

Frank Solanki

Look back upon the flying time
How swiftly it went
Strongly etched in this heart of mine
The memories we spent
Now that we’re no longer together
Distant and apart
My heart beats now even stronger
Yearning for your heart
I know that your heart misses me
Mine misses you too
I know you’d never forget me
And I’d never forget you

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What makes a good writing group?

Questions to ask about a writing group.

Coloured pencils Jess Watters Unsplash

There many opinions on what makes a good writing group, but I think that we can agree on a few things.Most of us need the right sized group, one that meets at a convenient time and place and one that helps us to grow as writers and to achieve our aims.So, if you are considering joining a writing group it pays to ask a few questions.

  1. What is the composition of the group?Does it matter to you if it is a mixed or a single-sex group? Both types of groups can have advantages and disadvantages. A mixed group provides a microcosm of the potential readership for your stories or book. However, that can be challenging ii your stories are not mainstream.Crime and fantasy/sci-fi appeal to both genders, while other types of writing typically appeal more to one or the other. For example, romance writing has a mainly female authorship and readership; while war stories mostly appeal to men.
  2.  Does Age Matter?people-woman-coffee-meeting.jpgThe general age in the group may be a factor for you, although it is wise to be flexible about this. Talent is not confined to one age group and both younger and older members can contribute to the dynamic of a mixed age group.3. How friendly do you need the group to be?Many of us complete our best work inspired by a little ‘friendly’ competition. And the operative word is friendly. Many writers have a horror story or two to tell of savage criticism towards their work or even their personality( a real no, no!) which has wounded them and eroded their confidence in their writing abilities. A good facilitator should prevent this, reminding everyone that the focus is solely on the work. Any group that is not welcoming to new members and encouraging of them is not a place that you want or need to be.

    4 What do you want?Writng laptop thougth Catalogue

    A good writing group is a community of like-minded people, one that provides that ‘safe space’ in which to discuss your work. There is no need to bore your long-suffering family, instead talk to the people who understand the blow of rejection and the thrill of success. The members of a writing group near you.

    As I was writing this post I asked various group members about their experiences with our writing group. The group I attend meets weekly and is a mixed group.Members attend writing events and the group books authors as speakers.

    5. What Writing Group Members Say About Their Writing Group

    One member said’ I need the inspiration of others work, I am fascinated by the way that other people write and think’.

    This is an aspect of a writing group that is so intriguing, that there are so many different approaches to writing about one topic.

    Another commented’ each week I struggle and I am amazed when people say that I am improving.’As mentioned earlier, we may be the harshest critics of our own work and a group can provide objectivity.

    A third said ‘the group has inspired me to try different styles and ways of writing’

    A veteran of other groups noted that ‘some groups tend to be dominated by egos, which can be very stressful’

    A member who had not written since junior school commented that it was ‘right place, right time,’ adding cheekily the group picked me!’ She continued more seriously by saying that ‘written has been ( and is) challenging, yet stimulating’

    As for me, it is no exaggeration to say that joining a ringgit group changed my life. Writing group members encouraged me to apply for mature age university entrance. I was accepted and had some of the most challenging yet thrilling years of my life. Following on from that I submitted my writing and had some stories and articles published in national magazines. None of which I would have accomplished without the help and support of my writing group.

    So pluck up your courage and think about joining your local writing group. Your local library will most likely have the details of local groups

     

Suzi Love

SUZI LOVE ~ Writing about romance, history, crazy characters, the Aussie outback and extraordinary places.

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